My name is Johnnie P. Mock.

As of July 31st, 2015, if the Lord graciously allows me, I will turn 63 years old. I have Pancreatic Cancer. As of today, I am a 31-month survivor. Cancer is something that happens to somebody else, it doesn’t happen to me, right! Isn’t that how most of us look at cancer? Well, I did. If you will grant me a little of your time, I would like to share with you my story, My Cancer Journey!
As stated already, it has been 31 months since I was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer, but I feel it’s necessary to turn the clock back a few years earlier so you can meet this man I am writing about. The photo on the right is me, taken at Christmas time 2009. I weighed 260 pounds. As you can imagine I was not the picture of a healthy man. I believe I was taking a total of 10 medications daily, in an attempt to keep my blood pressure under control. And then on one of my many doctor visits, my doctor informed me that I had now become a type 2 diabetic and prescribed to me yet another medication. While I don’t remember the name of the medication for this diabetes, I do remember how my body reacted to it. Whenever I would take this medication, I would get dizzy to the point of nearly passing out. Well, I didn’t like this at all. I contacted my doctor and told him I could not take this medication! His response to me was, “You have no choice, take the medicine or get healthy.” In turn I answered him and said, “Let me work on healthy.” And so, it began. I had struggled with my weight most of my adult life and knew most everything I had tried ultimately failed, but this time would be different. Diets don’t work, but a lifestyle change (eating habits) and a regular workout routine do and that became my new normal. I am not going to tell you it was easy because it was NOT! Junk foods goodbye, couch potato – move out… healthy food in appropriate portions and 5 to 6 day a week workout at the gym became my new norm. Now I shared this part of my life to show you what I consider I am made of. I worked hard and I do mean very hard at eating right and exercising daily, even on those many days I didn’t feel like it, which were many in the beginning. But eventually it paid off. About 2 years later I went from a 260-pound man with several health problems to this… a 190-pound man, who had beat his high blood pressure and his type 2 diabetes. I went from a 48-inch waist to a 32 – 34-inch waist. From wearing 2 XL and XL shirts to small and medium shirts.

When there is something worth fighting for, I can be and am persistent and will not give in OR give up! Another reason I shared this little part of my life is this is the physical shape I was in when my health began its downward spiral, which ultimately became my diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. I believe I was in the best physical shape I had ever been.
Around January 2012 I began having stomach discomfort while working out, mostly cramping and upset or sour stomach. I took the normal remedies like we all do to fix it, Tums, Mylanta, Pepto, which gave me temporary relief. As it got worse, I went to my doctor and he began prescribing different medications to treat my symptoms. Nothing seemed to work well or for very long. So, I was set up with the local hospital to have an ultrasound on my Gall Bladder and another Gall Bladder test. The ultrasound found no problems (no gall stones) but the other test, a HIDA scan showed that my gall bladder was only working at 26%. I believe 36% is the lowest normal reading. So, an appointment was made with the local surgeon to have my gall bladder removed. Simple right? No!!! The surgeon said I did not have what he referred to as “textbook symptoms” so he was not convinced that my gall bladder needed removal. He ordered a few more tests, a CT Scan and a Colonoscopy before considering gall bladder removal.

Well, the tests and Colonoscopy were fine, the CT Scan showed a growth on my left kidney but nothing to cause the pain I was having. The surgeon said he did not want to take out my gall bladder because he didn’t think it was the problem. I returned to my family doctor because the pain was getting worse. He called the surgeon and basically told him that if he would not remove my gall bladder we would go to another surgeon. 3 days later my gall bladder was removed, and the pain went away – completely.
Great right? Well not really. The pain was replaced with not being able to eat and keep food in me. It would go straight through, along with a different kind of pain. This went on for about 4 to 6 months. It was passed off as my body not getting adjusted to not having a gall bladder, but it would get better. Over this time period I lost about 60 pounds, down to 155 pounds. You remember the growth they found on my left kidney during the CT Scan? Well, I was sent to an Urologist. He looked at the CT Scan and determined that a needle biopsy could not be performed because the growth was on top of the left kidney, nestled up under the spleen, could not be reached safely. He told me they would check it again in 6 months, and, even if it was cancer it wouldn’t grow very much.

So 6 months passes, I have lost the 60 pounds mentioned earlier and am getting weaker with each passing day. Work outs stopped for obvious reasons. Another CT Scan was performed, and the growth had increased in size .5 centimeters. The Urologist was now concerned and immediately ordered a PET Scan the following week. The results of the PET Scan showed the growth on my kidney to be a benign cyst and nothing to be worried about, however, the PET Scan revealed that the lymph nodes around my pancreas were enlarged! It took the doctor about 4 weeks to get me an appointment with the local cancer clinic in Birmingham, Alabama, about 75 miles from home. The first visit was for the oncologist to meet me and do an examination. Now this is a teaching hospital, so when I had my appointment there were about 15 people in the examination room, poking and prodding me. The oncologist talked to the other people in the room but barely spoke to me directly. They drew a lot of blood that day. A couple weeks later I was scheduled to return for an endoscopic biopsy. When I came out of the anesthesia the young doctor who performed the biopsy came into the room where my wife and I were waiting. I was still feeling the effects of the drugs administered to perform the procedure. His words to us were “Well you’ve got cancer!” Deep down inside of me I had suspected that was what they were looking for and, as much as I didn’t want it to be, that is what they found. Without looking up I asked him, “Can we cut it out?” His response was “No… any other questions?” That was the end of our meeting.
On the way home, I made the phone calls to inform my family of the findings. Of course, everyone was shocked at the news. My mother told me that she had been watching TV all day and every time she would change the channel this commercial would play about a Cancer Hospital and she said, “You need to call them.” She told me several times before we hung up that I needed to call them. Well, you know when Mama tells you to do something… YOU DO IT!!!! Well at least with my Mama you do.

I called them that next day. Talked with a wonderful man, Marty Marks, who helped us get everything necessary together to make the trip to Zion, Illinois for a 3-to-5-day evaluation. We arrived at O’Hare International Airport, were picked by a man with a white stretch limo that carried us to the hotel where we would be stay at during my evaluation. We got to bed but didn’t sleep well because of the many thoughts racing through our minds. What was going to happen? What were they going to do? Is this the beginning of the end? You know all those unanswered questions we all have in our minds. Let me just say this, we got up for day one of our appointments. It was confusing and scary and there were uncertainties and oh so many questions to get answers to. To say they are thorough at the Cancer Treatment Center of America would be an understatement. There was not one aspect of me and my health that was not addressed. And at the end of my 3-to-5-day evaluation, which actually lasted 9 days my Oncologist, Dr. Ashwin Sheelvanth sat my wife and myself down and we talked about me and my cancer and what they would like to do to treat it. We looked at my scans, while Dr. Sheelvanth showed us the tumor and how they would treat it and what he thought the outcome would be. At the end of our meeting, he said go home and consider everything he had told us and let them know what we wanted to do. My response was, “We have already discussed it and if this is our best course of action, when can we begin?” His response was, “Right now!” And, with that I began my cancer treatment one hour after this meeting. Oh, you might find this amusing. I asked Dr. Sheelvanth a question I believe most people diagnosed with cancer want an answer to. “How long do I have?” He paused for a moment then looked me in the eye and said, “I am sorry, I don’t know… When you were born, they did not put an expiration date on you.” How true! This marked the beginning of my cancer journey.
Let me tell you it took me maybe 4 to 6 weeks before I could even talk to anyone about my cancer without becoming very emotional and breaking down in tears. I think most of us look at a cancer diagnosis as an automatic death sentence. Well, it used to be that way, but science has come a long way since then and survival rates have gotten much better, however it is still a deadly disease. This part of my journey is, I believe, the most important part, as it molded me into who I am today.
Many of you don’t know but at one time, about 25 years ago, I was a preacher, in that I pastored a church for 8 years. Near the end of those 8 years a situation saw my life changing, a marriage dissolving, a church harassing their former pastor to the point where I said, “If this is how you are, I don’t need you anymore.” I turned away from church and God for 25 years. And then one day God sought me out. I didn’t know it at the time, but He had a job for me to do. I was not attending church anywhere. I was just diagnosed with cancer. I was scared, lost, and without hope. God set it up to get me back where I needed to be. He put a person into my life to gently guide me back into fold. I have, a now very good friend I won’t mention by name, but she was extremely instrumental in getting me back into God’s good favor. She, like me HAD pancreatic cancer, and beat it. I am not sure why she singled me out, well of course I know why. Because that is what God wanted. Anyway, she began to invite me to attend church services where she went. The first few times she mentioned it I thanked her but didn’t see that happening. Well as time went on and cancer became more and more real in my life, I noticed something lacking in me. So one Sunday morning I woke up early, contacted her and asked what time church services were.

She told me and I said I was thinking about visiting. Well, I did visit that morning and I am not sure what it was, but when I entered the building there was such a calming peace that overtook me, like being covered by a warm fuzzy blanket. It made me feel like everything was going to be ok. During that first visit I was led to the altar and the pastor and congregation gathered around me, the pastor anointed my forehead with oil and the whole church laid hands on me and prayed for me and my healing. Well, I began attending services there regularly. My attitude began changing, my faith began to grow again, and I began to look at life differently.
My visits to the Cancer Center also began to take on a new meaning for me. I remembered the first time my wife and I were there and feeling overwhelmed at what we were facing. I decided that it didn’t have to be that way. I would take it upon myself to do whatever I could to help others ease into their cancer journey. I have been told I never meet a stranger. I have no trouble at all talking to anyone about anything. I guess it is how I was raised.

I understand that some of you reading this will not understand or believe what I am describing and that is ok but, I sincerely believe that God had a plan for me and my life. He wanted to me help people struggling with their cancer diagnosis and all that follows. I did not choose this task, nor would I have willingly volunteered for it, but God laid it at my feet and said I need you to do this for me. It was at that point I could not say no! God prepared me, like He did the apostle Paul, when Paul said, “I am made all things to all men that I might by all means save some.” 1 Cor 9:22. I know how people with cancer feel because I too feel and have felt it too. I know the fear, the anger, the denial, the hopelessness, the “what have I done wrong in my life to cause this”. I have had to learn how to meet this head-on and deal with it in a positive way and overcome it in my journey. Allowing God into my life has given me strength to deal with whatever cancer has thrown into my path.
As I have already stated, I use every opportunity while in Zion for my appointments, to seek out and encourage anyone I meet that has a need. I find folks in need in the waiting rooms, in the Bistro, in the hallways, in the elevators, on the shuttle buses to and from the hotels, in the hotel lobbies, in the limo to and from the airport. I even have some employees, who know what I do, seek me out and ask if I have time to visit with someone, they know who could use a friend or needs encouragement. You know, folks like us, that are going through our own personal cancer battle, can get through to others struggling because we understand the emotional roller coaster ride and have learned how to handle it. That is what I try to share with others. Maybe a year after I began my own personal crusade to help my friends battling cancer, I was asked why I hadn’t joined Cancer Fighters? So that is what I did. I went down to where Cancer Fighters was set up by the Big Fish Tank. There I met Angela Broker, a very caring individual. I told her I was there to join Cancer Fighters and she asked me my name. I told her and her response was, “Oh so you are him!” It seems my name had come up in several conversations with some employees and patients and what I was doing helping and encouraging folks I would meet.
I mentioned a little way back that this was something that God asked me to do. Let me explain. I never heard a voice instructing me, or at least I don’t think I heard one. There was no dream or burning bush or anything like that, however, one Sunday morning in church we had a visiting speaker. Someone I had never met before and of course they didn’t know me either. Well to make a long story short, in the middle of their message, they stopped, singled me out and announced to the whole congregation that I was going to be part of a Great Hospital Ministry. This person did not know I had cancer, they did not know I was traveling to Zion for treatment and while in Zion devoting my free time to encouraging others. That was all I needed to hear to know that what I was/am doing is from one greater than I.
On another occasion I was stopped after church services by one of the members. She told me that God had visited her with a message for me. The message was that the devil was trying to kill me and had tried 3 times but for me to not fear. God was not going to allow the devil to interfere with the work that He had for me to do. I thought about what she told me and was able to identify the 3 occasions….
A motorcycle accident when I was in my late teens. I was a passenger when the driver ran a stop sign…. I bounced off the side of the car that hit us, right in front of the tire.
Secondly, while serving in the Air Force in the early 70s I contracted Spinal Meningitis. By the time the doctors figured out what I had it was quite advanced. They put me in isolation and gave me 24 hours to live. With mega doses of penicillin, I recovered.
And thirdly, now I am battling cancer. That makes 3. The devil wanted to remove me from this work but God, through my friend at church told me that the devil was not going to succeed because He had work for me to do. Again, I know there are some that don’t believe things like this and that is ok, but I believe it and that is what keeps me pressing forward.

My life is so full of opportunity to help others now. It’s like opportunity seeks me out instead of the other way around. And that is ok with me. I believe that God will not allow anything to come upon you that you cannot handle. His word tells us that. “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Phil 4:13
We are stronger than we give ourselves credit for. We just have to trust in God, and He will show us just how strong we can be. I tell folks recently diagnosed with cancer that they have been given a rare gift. They look at me with a puzzled expression when I tell them that. How many people do you know that go to bed at night and never wake up? Or are killed in an accident, without warning? People diagnosed with cancer have been given a wakeup call, if you wish to call it that. We have been given a chance to reflect back on our lives and fix anything we find that needs fixing, whether it be relationships, priorities, whatever is not as it should be. Therein is the gift. Cancer has allowed me to get my priorities straight. Relationships are more important now. I try to tell the people I care about just how I feel about them and often, because we never know when we will be called home. I also try to live each and every day as if it were my last because No One is promised tomorrow. Sometimes, when I meet someone who has recently been told they have cancer I see fear in their eyes, which is very normal. I lean in and say, “I am going to let you in on a little secret, none of us are getting out of this world alive!!!!!” Of course, there is a shock factor involved, but it does stop them in their tracks. You can see them processing what I just said to them, and, for most it’s like a light just came on! It is as if that huge cloud hanging over them begins to break apart and they get it. Yes, they have cancer, now what is the guy going to tell me. They are now ready to be encouraged. Although we know we are not going to live forever, we seem to live as if we are. We just need to get in touch with our reality and then we can begin fighting.

I often hear people fighting cancer complain about how the treatment makes them feel. For those I have 2 things to say, (1) Treatment and its various unpleasant side effects are not forever. They are only for a season or period of time. And (2) Did you wake up this morning? If you did then it is a good day – period! During my cancer journey I have had to stop treatment on one occasion due to a rare side effect I developed from one of my chemos. The drug caused my brain to swell. Something that was very rare, but it happened to me. 3 months without chemo allowed the swelling to go down and then we resumed treatment, with a different drug, harsher but without that side effect. On another occasion my chemo treatment caused both my platelets and my white blood cells to become almost non-existent. It is called Neutropenia and is very dangerous if not caught and treated. I was put into isolation and given huge doses of anti-bionics and platelet transfusions and the dreaded Neupogen shot, which is much harsher than the Neulasta injection, but it causes the white blood cells to reproduce quickly.
I am currently on what Dr. Sheelvanth refers to as a “Chemo Holiday.” My CT Scans have shown no change in the 2 plus years I have been treated, with the exception of a 15% reduction in the size of my tumor during one scan. I have been enjoying my 3-month time frame away from chemo (I am on my 2nd one currently). I am scheduled to return to Zion for another CT Scan April 7 – 9 and if the scans show no change, I am sure I will be sent home for yet another 3-month chemo holiday, my 3rd in a row! This allows me time to work on getting used to my “New Normal” which is not the way I was before cancer, but I am still alive. It also allows me to continue seeking out and encouraging others in their personal cancer journeys.
Let me leave you with this. Your cancer journey will be what you decide it will be. It can be a living hell or you can accept that it is and live your life In Spite of Cancer….. I tell people “I Have Cancer, BUT Cancer Does NOT Have Me!” The single most important thing to remember is that a Positive Attitude is Essential in your cancer battle. Stay positive at all cost. The immune system works better when you have a positive attitude. You will feel better and those around you will feel better too when you are positive. No one has to battle cancer alone! Some choose to, but you don’t have to. I recently dyed my beard Purple to help bring awareness to Pancreatic Cancer. I have made it my goal for the remaining time of my life to try and educate people about Pancreatic Cancer and to encourage any and all who need encouragement while battling this demon. Keep God close in your life. Pray often, for

 
I often hear people fighting cancer complain about how the treatment makes them feel. For those I have 2 things to say, (1) Treatment and its various unpleasant side effects are not forever. They are only for a season or period of time. And (2) Did you wake up this morning? If you did then it is a good day – period! During my cancer journey I have had to stop strength, healing, peace, comfort, opportunity to help others. And don’t ever forget to thank Him for each and every day you wake up. As of April 2021, I am 68 years old and have been a cancer survivor of over 100 months and still going strong.
Please feel free to contact me anytime if there may be something, I can do to help you in your cancer journey.
Johnnie Tazz Mock
256-302-2655